A Villanelle for Day-Drinkers

Do not settle for a Pepsi or Sprite.
Corn syrup can’t fizz your troubles away.
Day drinking sets all your problems aright.

Next to a yapper on a twelve-hour flight?
When you get bumped by the beverage tray,
do not settle for a Pepsi or Sprite.

Suffering Bears fans whose team is a blight
do not despair over games in Green Bay.
Day drinking sets all your problems aright.

Good parents whose babies fight sleep all night
hit hard stuff like whiskey at breakfast; they
do not settle for a Pepsi or Sprite.

Your job’s a prison, your boss a smug shite?
Know, as you plot how to get through the day,
day drinking sets all your troubles aright.

Go get a real drink, just not one that’s lite.
Fuck what your neighbors or in-laws might say.
Do not settle for a Pepsi or Sprite.
Day drinking sets all your problems aright.