No. 4

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Get your dad to be president.

Bonus: this tip is also useful if you want China to hurry up and approve a bunch of your trademarks!

Please let Hell be real. Please let Hell be real. Please let Hell be real please let Hell be real please let Hell be real please let hell be real please let Hell be real please let Hell be real please let Hell be real please let Hell be real please let Hell be real please let Hell be real etc.

Image credit: if you buy this book you're a fucking douchegoober. Economist: Trump Voters Should Stop Giving All Their Money to the Trump Family and If They Did Then Suddenly They Would Feel More Optimist About Their Economic Futures.

©Alan Good 2017