Go spend $90 on James Patterson's MasterClass course. I'm sure you've seen the ads for it on Facebook. You won't learn how to be a skilled writer, and you definitely won't get famous or even get an agent, but you will give James Patterson more money and America was built on the notion that the people who have everything should get more while the people who don't have much should still give $90 to James Patterson. There's an old Edward Abbey quote, "Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell—and also of James Patterson."
I really wouldn't mind him eating up all the best-seller lists if he was a better writer.
Joyce Maynard actually took his class. She wrote about it: http://observer.com/2015/08/an-accomplished-writer-takes-a-master-class-from-a-gargantuan-selling-writer/.