Become the host of The Tonight Show on NBC.
The scene is an office inside New York's famed Flatiron building. A group of publishing professionals have gathered to discuss books, namely what books they want to publish in the coming year.
Publishing professional 1: We need diverse books!
All the other publishing professionals: We agree! We need diverse books!
Publishing professional 1: We need books by women of color!
Publishing professional 2: We need books written for children of color!
Publishing professional 3: It's true. Almost all the human characters in children's books are white!
Publishing professional 4: We need diverse books!
Publishing professional 1: I already said that but YASSSSSS!
Interlude: You can probably see where this is going. The picture of a children's book written by Jimmy Fallon, juxtaposed with an picture of the actual Jimmy Fallon, a very talented and funny comedian and host of The Tonight Show on NBC, is sort of a giveaway. I just want to take a moment to note that I like Jimmy Fallon. I'm not mocking him. I'm not jealous of him. I'd just like to see some consistency. Everyone in the publishing industry (except for the ones at conservative imprints) talks incessantly about the need for diversity in books. And it's true, almost all the human characters in children's books are white. When they say "We need diverse books!" they are right. Our publishing professionals preach about finding diverse voices—and then publish books by people whose voices are very prominent within our culture, voices we are used to hearing. Publishing a book takes time and resources, and publishing a book by a celebrity is a choice to devote less time and fewer resources to publishing a book by someone who doesn't already have a high platform. Anyway, let's jump back into our scene here:
Publishing professional 1: So we're all agreed we need diverse voices?
All the other publishing professionals: YASSSSSSS!
Publishing professional 1: Great. But before we do that, the host of The Tonight Show on NBC wrote another children's book and I think we should publish it RIGHT NOW!
All the other publishing professionals: OMG YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!