"You look happy, Bo. You win the Publishers Clearinghouse thing?"
"Actually, libhole, I been selected by the Trump campaign to represent my state in deciding the issues that are most important to, in 2020, make America Great Again, Again. Here, I'm too nervous. You read the questions to me. Put that fancy college degree to some use finally."
Editor's note: Bo also has a college degree, but the for-profit college he got it from lost its accreditation and went out of business.
"Sure, the first one says 'What, in your opinion, is President Trump's greatest accomplishment so far?' Is it A . . . ."
"That's easy. Owning libs!"
"So, D. OK. Next one is 'Of all the FAKE NEWS news media organizations trying to stop President Trump from Making America Great, which one would you most like to see shut down with all its reporters and editors jailed?' Is it . . . ."
"All of them!"
"That's—right, actually. That was the only option."
"I love this country again!"
"All right, last one. This one says, 'If President Trump came in your mouth, would you spit or swallow?'"
"Does it really say that?"
"Sure. Of course it totally says that. It says it right here, 'If President Trump came in your mouth, would you spit or swallow?'"
"Is there room to write in an answer?"
"Um, sure. Yep, right there. There's definitely room."
"OK, check option C and write in 'Save for later.'"